We Want to Feel Bonded Not Bound…

When is it exactly that things start to unravel in a relationship? When is it that communication begins to go south—down to Sour Patch Kids-land? Is it when the intoxicating high of falling in love wears off and what we see before us isn’t as enchanting as it once appeared?

When does gold turn out to be pyrite…and why did we think it was gold to begin with? Why can’t we see things for what they are from the get-go? Are we programmed since childhood to have high expectation? So high it is impossible for any mortal to truly attain that for him or herself, or be that for someone  else.

But don’t we deserve, at any rate, the best? And so we start to convince ourselves of things—yes, this is gold. I’ll paint it gold and gold it shall be.

Is it because we are on our best behavior in the beginning—wanting to show our finest feathers like a peacock? Hoping, praying, wishing and wanting to be accepted. For this one” to be “the one”. We wouldn’t need to be in search of “the one” if we became our own sustenance. I mean, let’s face it: We are born alone and we’re gonna die alone.

What’s so awful about accepting that—embracing our aloneness—the minute we do, we understand that whoever comes along for however long they might stick around is an embellishment to our lives, but not a necessity.

Now our sole motivator in life (or perhaps soul motivator reads even better.) Is to be the best individual we be can become for ourselves. We are all that we need–and so we don’t need anyone to feel fulfilled.

Cruz the Muse

At the top of the list of needs are:

* autonomy

* feeling that your activities are self-chosen and self-endorsed

* being true to yourself

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